Monday, 18 July 2011

List #3: Things I Have Learnt About Myself From the Night of Saturday 16th July 2011, My 18th Birthday

  1. If I have done really well for myself and got a really good job for the first time in my life - don't mess it up by being sick all over it before your/my first shift.
  2. Always have dinner before a night of drinking, even if you had a massive lunch and even if its convenient to walk there with Alice at 7.
  3. If you're drinking consistently all day, a little bit of mixing is allowed.  A little, not a lottle.  For example, you're allowed to follow a - frankly massive - G&T, followed by beer, over the course of late-morning - mid-afternoon; but don't mix Leffe, Fosters, Jagerbombs, Crabbies, Goat's Gash cocktails, Ale, something I can't quite remember and a lot of cake in just over an hour.
  4. Goat's Gash is one of the nicest things that I have ever drunk.
  5. It's a good thing that you can make friends with random strangers at the bar when you're waiting for mates to arrive, but don't allow them to buy you too many birthday pints of Leffe
  6. Leffe costs more than your average lager, and an extra pound can really annoy said strangers
  7. Leffe is 7.5%, not the 4.5% you assumed it to be.  If you're drinking it, that's cool, it tastes great; just ease up a bit.
  8. When your drink hits you (it will), stand outside for a bit, yeah?  Don't eat loads of cake.
  9. Seriously, go to Hitchin, not your workplace.
  10. You know that friend that everyone has?  The one that's a bit cooler and older than everyone else, and you cannot begin to kid yourself you don't model at least a little bit of yourself on him?  Yeah; when meeting his girlfriend for the first time, don't introduce yourself by being sick on her.
  11. The friend who doesn't mind taking you home is amazing and must be cherished.  Always force them to stay over.
  12. Make the most of not being hungover (although potentially still drunk) whilst you're young and you can.  It's worth drinking the night after, if in moderation (but when it's a house party half-dedicated to you, you kinda have to).
  13. Reading the entirety of Caitlin Moran''s How To Be a Woman is the best thing the next day.  With baths, cheese and water.  Also: go for a run (don't let people see you (shuttles in the back garden)).
  14. You're going to really enjoy being a student, if you're vaguely careful.
  15. Being drunk is lovely.  It's good for being happy after the after-effects (if you read good things and haven't lost your job because of it).
  16. Writing this in the same place you were sick two nights ago, making friends with the bar staff and apologising profusely, is fun and a good move. Hopefully I'll get a second chance.
  17. Might go for a walk after this cuppa (75p. Win).
  18. Oh, and Craisins.  The best.
  19. (post-script): Buy some records. Use loads of your birthday money up on vinyl shopping.  You'll feel immeasurably better.


  1. This was perfect post-holiday reading. I hope you enjoyed the frivolity of it all!

  2. now you know! very charming post. easy of the leffe then

    thanks for both your comments, take care man

  3. Ha, my favourite part of this whole post is the number of times you mention you were sick (best one, on your friend's girlfriend) I hope she took into account it was your birthday and forgave you for it. I have a list in my head veryyyy similar to this one after Monday.


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