List #3: Things I Have Learnt About Myself From the Night of Saturday 16th July 2011, My 18th Birthday

1. If I have done really well for myself and got a really good job for the first time in my life - don't mess it up by being sick all over it before your/my first shift.
2. Always have dinner before a night of drinking, even if you had a massive lunch and even if its convenient to walk there with Alice at 7.
3. If you're drinking consistently all day, a little bit of mixing is allowed.  A little, not a lottle.  For example, you're allowed to follow a - frankly massive - G&T, followed by beer, over the course of late-morning - mid-afternoon; but don't mix Leffe, Fosters, Jagerbombs, Crabbies, Goat's Gash cocktails, Ale, something I can't quite remember and a lot of cake in just over an hour.
4. Goat's Gash is one of the nicest things that I have ever drunk.
5. It's a good thing that you can make friends with random strangers at the bar when you're waiting for mates to arrive, but don't allow them to buy you too many birthday pints of Leffe
6. Leffe costs more than your average lager, and an extra pound can really annoy said strangers
7. Leffe is 7.5%, not the 4.5% you assumed it to be.  If you're drinking it, that's cool, it tastes great; just ease up a bit.
8. When your drink hits you (it will), stand outside for a bit, yeah?  Don't eat loads of cake.
9. Seriously, go to Hitchin, not your workplace.
10. You know that friend that everyone has?  The one that's a bit cooler and older than everyone else, and you cannot begin to kid yourself you don't model at least a little bit of yourself on him?  Yeah; when meeting his girlfriend for the first time, don't introduce yourself by being sick on her.
11. The friend who doesn't mind taking you home is amazing and must be cherished.  Always force them to stay over.
12. Make the most of not being hungover (although potentially still drunk) whilst you're young and you can.  It's worth drinking the night after, if in moderation (but when it's a house party half-dedicated to you, you kinda have to).
13. Reading the entirety of Caitlin Moran''s How To Be a Woman is the best thing the next day.  With baths, cheese and water.  Also: go for a run (don't let people see you (shuttles in the back garden)).
14. You're going to really enjoy being a student, if you're vaguely careful.
15. Being drunk is lovely.  It's good for being happy after the after-effects (if you read good things and haven't lost your job because of it).
16. Writing this in the same place you were sick two nights ago, making friends with the bar staff and apologising profusely, is fun and a good move. Hopefully I'll get a second chance.
17. Might go for a walk after this cuppa (75p. Win).
18. Oh, and Craisins.  The best.
19. (post-script): Buy some records. Use loads of your birthday money up on vinyl shopping.  You'll feel immeasurably better.

Walking #4 - brace yourselves for a late and potentially incredibly long catch-up post

This has lain half-written for almost a week now, it's taken ages and a lot of effort to bother. I would apologise, but then again, it is the internet, and I don't think many of the lovely people who follow me (all whom are actually lovely) would begrudge anyone some time to enjoy themselves over their summer - the summer between school and uni.  Come on, it's a website!
That said, I really should get these done a lot quicker so it's kinda bad from my perspective.  I guess now the blog's not a procrastinatory tool and almost a task I find motivation a bit hard.  Any tips?
My apologies can be communicated by a quick stroll down this entertaining site.


LAST MAP

CURRENT MAP

I think the title says a lot here (but only because it's so unnecessarily long).  I've got some pre-exam walking and everything else since to catch up on - I'll try and make this relatively civilised in length.

A ridiculous amount of window boxes

More ridiculous boxes

I REALLY want a house with, like, a moat

I once went to a Christian band's gig here, when I was much younger,  and was doing that thing you do on ice when you skid round pretending to skate but fell over and a security guard shouted at me :(

It had a tonne of black diamonds on it

This is a roundabout near my house.  I've counted, and there are four funeral directors next to it or directly near it. It's ridiculous and mildly terrifying.

I'm a fan of roses 

FAAC OFF

I took this picture in the hope the guy would see me in the reflection and fall off, thereby impaling himself on one of the many implements on his belt and making me laugh (he didn't)

I tried to make someone see me in a reflection again, this time hitting themselves in the face with a power hose (it didn't work) 

A massive washing line barely occupied by a single sock

You can't really see, but this was a really really tall tree and up the entirety of its trunk was a lot of eye things which looked like the eye of Horus

Letchworth Garden City. Home of the world's least gangstaaa graffiti

Monster

Who here remembers the house with eyebrows? This house has a hangover

Whoever lives here is a right old cunt

Behind the hedge was a load of workmen singing a song REALLY WELL, with REALLY GOOD harmonies

I USED TO LOVE THIS SHOW

How mank are our public loos?

A fairly poignant toy on the path. On the way back it had been run over and was in the centre of the road

One reason to despise religion. They really don't help themselves sometimes, do they?

Technically I was inside here, but there was 8ish people trapped outside a house without a key.   I think some people'd locked themselves out on a family outing.  Way to leave a good impression...

House with a big green tache

They were working on one tiny patch of grass. Not only did this seem massively unnecessary, but it set off my hayfever big time

Our drive

This is my mate Tom, where we were in this photo.  Can you spot me? He got wolf whistles and cat calls and a good deal of praise for shinning up the lamp post

Probably accidental but like many of these photos I could have come up with a not-actually-funny 'witty' comment and forgotten it because it was so long ago

Andrew on our walk to Hitchin

There was a single solitary chair behind this (behind the hedge is the school field. Think their naughty chair is a bit harsh)

Park redevelopment coming along a bit now. Still taking too long though, I want it for summer!

Hahaha boobs